Delete. Re-download. Swipe. Delete. Re-download. Swipe. Match. Chat. Delete. Re-download.
Since I have been single for a really long time, I would say I have expert experience in the dating app world. Below are a few things I dislike when on the swiping game. Maybe you will relate or have others to add! Make sure to comment them at the very end because I would love to see if we struggle with similar things or it is to each their own?!
Whether you have Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, Fruits, Plenty of Fish, etc. these all can apply.
*note these come from a heterosexual point of view as I am a girl who unfortunately likes boys but everyone is welcome here!
10 Red Flags To Avoid When On The Dating Apps:
1. They put “Don’t Know Yet” as what they are looking for.
To me this tells me they are just winging it and are not intentional with why they are on here. All for them to figure it out on the go, but for someone like me who is becoming more clear on what I want, well it’s sure NOT that.
2. They talk about sex on any of their prompts.
“The hallmark of a relationship is good sex”
Tell me something I don’t know. This goes without saying and for someone to purposely add that in makes me think they are looking for mostly sex than anything else. Again, you do you, but I am looking for something deeper.
3. They wear a hat or sunglasses in every photo.
For those unfamiliar to the dating app world, we call this “hat fishing” and it makes us assume the person is insecure about their hair. Full-stop.
4. They are just in town for the weekend.
Can we just NOT go on the dating apps if one is only here for a few days. Matching with someone to then find out they are catching a flight tomorrow is a waste of both our damn time and gets our hopes up for no reason.
Or maybe just leave that for tinder sexii time, and stay off hinge/bumble. At least Hinge is set up so that no matter where you travel, it will only show people where you actually live (unless you can easily change your location, then stranger danger!)
5. They cross out or put emojis on the faces of other people in their pictures.
I get it, maybe it’s a privacy thing, but why not just pick different photos to put on your profile.
All this is telling us is that they are insecure and worry that we will think their friends are hotter. Or I have found myself wondering if they are maybe an ex.
6. Every single photo is a mirror selfie.
So they basically have no friends? Are they a sociopath? Are they self-obsessed? I have so many questions and yet I don’t want to spend time asking them.
7. One of their photos is featuring their butt, while they are fully naked. (often on a mountain or something)
Maybe they have a nice butt. Maybe they work hard for it. However just do it for the gram. Not for the matches.
** however I did post a photo of me with another man’s butt from a stag so maybe I am a hypocrite 😅 It has been funny however to see how many men commented on it, as if they felt threatened.
8. They want women to message first but when we do, they don’t answer.
I am all for messaging first. But when I message 20+ people I get MAYBE 3 replies. And I am putting time and effort into these first messages!! Maybe this is just how it always is / the algorithm hates me?
9. They don’t put their height.
Unfortunately, the dating apps are notoriously superficial. When agreeing to a date, we want ALL the information. Excluding one’s height is a a great way to not get matches.
The guy could be the nicest person ever, but the likelihood of us getting to swipe right is much higher when they put their height. When we are given a heads up, it is nice to not be hella surprised when we meet up. And hey! If they are short but honest, that is not an automatic no!
10. They fill out the bare minimum of their profile.
If they can’t spend 10-20 minutes filling out their profile, they sure won’t spend time getting to know me and put in the effort. ✌🏼
If you liked this post, let me know in the comments. If there is anything regarding the dating world you would like to hear my thoughts and opinions on, let me know in the comments!
Take care out there on the dating apps!!
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I’ve only just recently started trying to take dating apps serious again, and it is a battle!!! my therapist helped me realize i want to be more intentional with what i’m looking for and i’ve noticed a difference but gosh it can be so exhausting. where are poeple meeting men otherwise!?!?
GOOD QUESTION! I am going to write out the qualities I am looking for, so that when I am swiping people I can use it as a reference and not get distracted by puppies and babies they are holding hahaha.
UGH YES! I ESPECIALLY relate to the first one! Its so frustrating thinking you might have a connection and then getting the bomb of “ya, i dont actually want anything serious”.
I also have found when meeting through dating apps, people often feel ok flaking on dates. Thats been a tough one for me to deal with!
YUP! It’s like okay you haven’t taken anytime to self reflect on what you want, aka this is gunna be a nightmare of miscommunication. I am definitely guilty of that mindset of flaking because of how much my anxiety can take over my brain but I am aware of it and working on it!!
When they say crap like “ I’m fit, financially stable, open minded, fun, etc. i expect the same from you” like nothing wrong they want those similar qualities but just comes off aggro/alpha to me. And all those adjectives can have a wide variety of meanings person to person.
1000% it sounds super judgmental and like they are not open to meeting different people with different views.
Hi Christine.Your advice on dating and Apps is very insightful and true.Ive been single myself for a long time and your advice has opened my eyes regarding dating and red flags.Thankyou very much.